Idyllic.

As I was going to post this pic of me and the kids today I came across this article from the parenting section of the Huffington Post. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/claire-bidwell-smith/post-partum-_b_1777167.html?utm_hp_ref=parents&ir=Parents

I thought - wow, we do look idyllic here.  Happy mommy, happy toddler, happy preschooler all smooshed as tight as we can be together in 1 car of the train at the park ecstatic to be spending a gloriously sunny summer day together in peaceful bliss capturing a perfect memory of this time in our life that people say we'll always look back on with fondness.  Uh ha.  Right.  That's exactly how it played out - not!  But that's how it looks.  In fact, if I look back in my blog over the years we do look rather idyllic!  No real signs of the absolute chaos which is our life with 2 small children.  No signs of the constantly messy house, severely unattended laundry situation,  to do list 6 miles long, overgrown yard and weeds.  No signs of the constant referee I have become between siblings or the sadly neglected dog.  No signs of the struggle to find time or energy for each other when I'm at work 45 hours a week and Jeff's at work so many hours I'm afraid to actually count them and when we are both home at the same time we're dividing and conquering our chores there.  No signs of the intense pressure we feel to get this right - to get the parenting through the formative years right.  I'm glad this woman wrote this article so I don't wonder why I'm the only one who can't keep it all together perfectly.  I love when people are honest about their broken-ness.  Jeff and I call this period in our lives "survival mode".  If at the end of the day we are all still breathing we count that a success.  Truth.  I'm glad that when I put this blog into a journal to share with my grown children some day that they'll see what looked like an idyllic childhood.  They'll probably only have the really good memories stored in their pretty little minds anyway.  It will be our little secret that their early years were basically a circus.